Just Memories

Since you’re not answering your phone and my messages, I’ve come to a conclusion that this is the only way I am going to be able to talk to you. I need to tell you so much. I need you to hear me out. I need you to know where I’m coming from. I’ve kept a lot inside for so long. Finally… here it goes…

I miss hanging out with you. That night we laid out on Lone Mountain staring at the stars.

I miss being friends. You were a call away, always there to catch my tears.

I miss your hugs. Holding hands, late night after a concert, trying to keep each other warm and away from the cold breeze.

I miss your smile. Laughing about random, silly things made us happy.

We made so many good memories. Meeting you on a scary journey around campus. Your random visits to my dorm. Having our late night conversations. Adventuring off to Japan Town instead of going to a dance. Staying up all night, writing papers while one of us falls asleep. I keep holding onto these memories and reliving them in my mind.

It’s been four years since our spark. Four years of not having a meaningful conversation. Four years of avoiding each other. Now I’m just a spec in your heart. A useless number on your phone. A memory from your past. I am just a memory and it’s my entire fault.

I shouldn’t have started ignoring you. I shouldn’t have stopped hanging out with you. I didn’t want our friendship to end. I should’ve held on to our special friendship. I just needed a break. I needed some space. I didn’t mean to entirely delete you out of my life. That was not my intention.

Now I want it all back. Everything we had. Our friendship and nothing more. You were one of the most important people in my life, then one day it vanished.

I’M SORRY.

Sorry for not saving what we had.

Sorry for not being there for you.

Sorry for pressing “ignore” on my phone.

Sorry for breaking your heart.

I always wondered… What if I was there for Valentine’s Day to hear you play, “Hopeless Love”? What if we went to the dance? What if we told each other how we really felt? There are too many what ifs?

I deserve what we have now or lack there of. I don’t blame you for not wanting to talk to me. I don’t blame you for not being there. I don’t blame you for hitting “ignore.” I put that all on myself.

I must accept what we are now. I need to stop holding onto what should’ve been and just enjoy our memories. That’s all I have left of us. Our friendship is our memories.

Babae Rehearsals: Deets

Rehearsal DATES

October 4, 11 and 18

All three Sundays will be at the Creative Arts Building at San Francisco State room 21.

http://www.sfsu.edu/~sfsumap/southwest.htm

The link is the campus map.

You can access the Creative Arts building on Holloway Street. The room itself is confusing to get to, but go in the Holloway entrance, make a left right after the box office, go all the way at the end of the hall. There is a door to the outside, but before you reach that door there steps and to the right is a brown door. Go inside that door, go down another set of steps and at the bottom will be Studio 23 and Studio 21.

It is hard to get reception so if you try and call or text me, I might not get it. So if you get lost, make your way back to the Holloway entrance and I will meet you there a few minutes after 9:30 for anyone who is late.

Wear something comfy, bring water and journal.
See you this Sunday!.....Lorna