Senses

(FYI: this memory was sparked from Elaine's story.)

I see a rush of people.

I hear tongues of different dialects.

I smell the smoke of cigarettes.

I feel the sticky heat.

I taste salty sweat dripping from my nose.

It feels like one of those moments in a movie where you are standing in the middle of a crowd, and everyone else around you is moving really fast. I look and look. Nothing looks familiar. I stand there not knowing what to do. Should I run? Walk? Yell? Ask for help? I decide to do nothing.

I stay there standing…. seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, tasting. It feels like a roller coaster ride that is never going to end. I am going to vomit. No I won’t. I will. I won’t.

I finally realize that I am at a market. I hear women bargaining for the best deals, “Ten pesos na lang. Marami pa akong kailangan ibili para sa pamilya ko.” I see a child with their mom asking to buy Japanese imported stationary… the ones with Hello Kitty on it. I want one, but I know I won’t get one.

I am hungry. I smell fish balls freshly cooked on the cart. I finally start walking towards the fish balls. I felt the oil trickle on my skin. My mouth was able to taste how it smelled but I had to ignore it. I didn’t have any money.

I turn around and I see a familiar face. She looks terrified and panicked. I hear her catching her breath. Sweat was dripping from her face. She runs to me, gives me a hug, and a kiss on my forehead. It’s my mom.