Joana:
"connection to the light" "lives in a bubble" (someone else wrote this phrase, too) - thoughts of a convict brother who is disappointed in the backpacking, student sister, hoping she'd write, connect, love, not diss him, not forget him -- the awareness of others' perceptions -- do they hinder or promote your own growth? Staging, I see a single light, indistinct features, a lone narration, caged, limited movement surrounded by a growing light of a freely moving person, a chance touch. Write more on the sister's dance around the caged area (actions with friends, groups, a definite comparison to one who gives -- those who "take", deserve to, and see no need to change actually define the other person even more.
Joanna:
Day with Dad: a family daytime recurring incident: is it his choice, the GMA supershow? Do Lolo/lola "acquiesce" to this choice so Dad will remain pleasant? There are many unanswered questions here: "usual routine" - the reliance on another ride to/from school, gas money; what is the mother's mood through all of this? What is dad's job/where that he chooses and has the opportunity to come home for a family lunch, which was what? What do he and lolo bicker about? "A purpose about him" vs what; no purpose before this? His neighborhood tennis friends relax him, make no demands, the period allows him to interact with his daughter. What is NOT being said here; where are you NOT going (despite that this was an assigned work?) Soundscape: I hear only the TV, a tennis match, a muted palette. Color our senses, all of them.
Raquel:
Oddly humorous: lola? should be glad that a granddaughter WANTS to see the Philippines ("home" -- all bloggers refer to P.I. as home since as early as 5 years old; very noticeable). Family obligations, health issues, religion -- the step taken to 'make things better' (send them to America) backfires -- no longer sweet, obedient, but 'independent' - an American term, mentioned twice. A poignant phrase "she did not need me anymore" (nostalgic); "more traveling than me" (envious); "crazy aunts" ah-ha! Lola must be the ONLY sane one (she sounds funny). And to be aware of Image re "Gloria" "proud, ashamed, or worried" says so much more about Lola than it does about her granddaughter. There's a kind of badge she seems to like to wear concerning the pamous one, talaga. Fill out this incident more: staging, maybe she sits watching TV, the protestor/granddaughter lit in another area, a barrage of worries to anyone who is listening -- and yet it seems it would end with her smiling to herself at the TV.
LORNA: please let me know if you have any additions to all my comments on all blogs to date -- salamat, all,
Jeannie
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