Friday, September 18, 2009

The Sense of Sensibilities

Last night, I woke to a powerful thunderstorm brewing beneath my belly.

An energetic vortex exists in my once calm sea and Svadhisthana pleads to be fulfilled.

I am weak against it, but can do nothing to quench it.

…won’t do anything to quench it…

My knees rise towards my chest. Tonight, I embrace them tightly.

In fetal position, I silently pray for peace to pacify my pulsating pussy.

I’m begging for a good night’s sleep.

“Aahhh…” I close my eyes.

An hour passes. It feels like a lot longer.

It’s midnight - the witching hour in many cultures.

It’s when black magic is at its peak; a time when the alter-consciousness emerges.

My free-spirited gypsy senses battle to overpower my good-girl tendencies.

One hand is cupped below, the other, stretches out to feel for the phone.

Desire and guilt are entangled.

Now the mind is racing.

My mother would never approve…

Or would she?

My father passed away when I was sixteen, and since then, she’s been searching.

Husband; life-partner; cupcake-couple; fuck-friend.

I know she was looking for something. I think she still is.

I know I am…something I can call “special”.

In June, I turned 29.

A time of endings and new beginnings.

Saturn returned and revealed. I – resolved and released.

Next year I will be 30.

By this age, I am expected to be a wife and mother.

To nest a sacred space for family.

But that is not the present reality.

I’m single and on my own…

My body twists in bed like an uncoiling snake.

In heat, I kick off the blankets and quickly peel all layers.

Please sacred Goddess and all that is Divine!!

Release your daughter from this conflicting juxtaposition!

I am a new age girl living in between two worlds.

Open to the universe and her possibilities, but often trapped in old world sensibilities.

The sense of sensibilities…

The sense of sensibilities…

No sense in sensibilities…

I lift my face to peer into La Luna’s luminescence for grace.

Moon beams shine through the white curtains onto my naked body.

The heat is cooled by the soft light.

Fairydust sent by La Luna freefall into my room to sooth my spirit.

I hear the internal strum of my soul. The melody is beautiful.

Love rushes through my veins. Light radiates from my skin.

Breath – inhale and exhale. Balance and rhythm – regained.

I smile. The call was heard.

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